Short story.
I have a friend that grows peppers out in Nashville. Lovely guy.
He has a bunch of different species and produces a lot every year.
My family was visiting his family a couple of months ago and I too a quick tour of his garden (we were also flipping rocks looking for snakes, but that's a topic for another blog).
I saw that on one of his plants full of unripe, green peppers, was a solitary red pepper; no bigger than my thumbnail. He told me that it was a Bird Pepper and that I was welcome to try it. He said it wasn't too hot.
Cue a solid ten minutes of sweating, crying and hiccup'ing and it may not be too far fetched to tell you that it was the spiciest thing I'd ever eaten. There was nothing but pond water for a while, but then he directed me to the tap that the city supplied. Ran that water through my mouth for a bit. Goodness.
The following day I tried the Aji Chaparita - the most expensive pepper in the world. It was pretty good. Noticeably less spicy than the Bird Pepper, but still had a kick.
All this to say that I'm still getting used to the peppers out here. We didn't really do that kind of spice in England, where we moved over from.
Jalapeno Poppers.
I usually buy ten. Minimum. I could eat a whole lot more.
I also buy a block of cream cheese and a pack of bacon. Not the cheapest bacon because that will leave you thoroughly disappointed.
Latex gloves. Thank me later.
Don those gloves. Make sure your hands are dry because you'll be frustrated and embarassed if not.
Slice the peppers in two, spoon out the veins and the seeds, and throw them away. The veins and seeds, that is. Not the flesh.
Wash those and dry them well. If you have any water on there, the cheese won't stick at all.
Preheat your oven at this point to have it nice and toasty by the time you're done prepping the poppers. 375F should do it.
Spoon some cheese into the half peppers. Lovingly. Like that kind of spoon you look forward to on a cold, winter night after driving home through the snow with a broken heater and nothing but a thin jacket to keep you warm because for some reason you packed your heavier coats away and although your blower motor has been out for months, you just haven't had the time to get it fixed. But you will!
I level my cheese out with the top of the pepper. Makes me feel good.
Wrap the cheesy half pepper with a piece of bacon. You may be tempted to cut the bacon in two if it seems too long for the pepper, but then you'd be actively cutting down on the bacon that you're going to be eating, so I honestly don't understand why that would be something you'd entertain. And if I just put that idea in your mind I apologise unreservedly. Use that whole strip.
Unless you have a really small jalapeno.
Go back and edit the start of this post with the temperature of that oven.
Pop the poppers into the oven. I don't have a time for you - I just eyeball it. You know what cooked bacon looks like.
If you have any bacon strips left over from wrapping them, just lay them on the tray with the poppers. Their cook time is about half that of the poppers. A mid-popper snack! Bonus bacon.
Place the cooked poppers onto some paper towel to absorb some of that grease, and chill out to the fourth season of The Office - or whichever season you're up to.
I have a friend that grows peppers out in Nashville. Lovely guy.
He has a bunch of different species and produces a lot every year.
My family was visiting his family a couple of months ago and I too a quick tour of his garden (we were also flipping rocks looking for snakes, but that's a topic for another blog).
I saw that on one of his plants full of unripe, green peppers, was a solitary red pepper; no bigger than my thumbnail. He told me that it was a Bird Pepper and that I was welcome to try it. He said it wasn't too hot.
Cue a solid ten minutes of sweating, crying and hiccup'ing and it may not be too far fetched to tell you that it was the spiciest thing I'd ever eaten. There was nothing but pond water for a while, but then he directed me to the tap that the city supplied. Ran that water through my mouth for a bit. Goodness.
The following day I tried the Aji Chaparita - the most expensive pepper in the world. It was pretty good. Noticeably less spicy than the Bird Pepper, but still had a kick.
All this to say that I'm still getting used to the peppers out here. We didn't really do that kind of spice in England, where we moved over from.
Jalapeno Poppers.
I usually buy ten. Minimum. I could eat a whole lot more.
I also buy a block of cream cheese and a pack of bacon. Not the cheapest bacon because that will leave you thoroughly disappointed.
Latex gloves. Thank me later.
Don those gloves. Make sure your hands are dry because you'll be frustrated and embarassed if not.
Slice the peppers in two, spoon out the veins and the seeds, and throw them away. The veins and seeds, that is. Not the flesh.
Wash those and dry them well. If you have any water on there, the cheese won't stick at all.
Preheat your oven at this point to have it nice and toasty by the time you're done prepping the poppers. 375F should do it.
Spoon some cheese into the half peppers. Lovingly. Like that kind of spoon you look forward to on a cold, winter night after driving home through the snow with a broken heater and nothing but a thin jacket to keep you warm because for some reason you packed your heavier coats away and although your blower motor has been out for months, you just haven't had the time to get it fixed. But you will!
I level my cheese out with the top of the pepper. Makes me feel good.
Wrap the cheesy half pepper with a piece of bacon. You may be tempted to cut the bacon in two if it seems too long for the pepper, but then you'd be actively cutting down on the bacon that you're going to be eating, so I honestly don't understand why that would be something you'd entertain. And if I just put that idea in your mind I apologise unreservedly. Use that whole strip.
Unless you have a really small jalapeno.
Go back and edit the start of this post with the temperature of that oven.
Pop the poppers into the oven. I don't have a time for you - I just eyeball it. You know what cooked bacon looks like.
If you have any bacon strips left over from wrapping them, just lay them on the tray with the poppers. Their cook time is about half that of the poppers. A mid-popper snack! Bonus bacon.
Place the cooked poppers onto some paper towel to absorb some of that grease, and chill out to the fourth season of The Office - or whichever season you're up to.
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